Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, but nothing much is going on right now. We're sort of a "status quo" which is a good thing. Dave seems to be about the same in his AD journey.
He's been having a little chest pressure, for which he takes nitro. He doesn't know when it happens, but I can tell, so I ask him, he thinks about it for a minute, and says "yes".
On a lighter note, I saw my sister and brother-in-law a few weeks ago. First time in over 2 years. They were passing through LA, so they took a detour to Port Hueneme. It was great to see them. Dave didn't know who they were, but managed to babble on in conversation. After they left, he asked who they were, and I told him they are old friends. :(
The grandkids are enjoying their summer vacation. Dominick is going to summer shool at Santa Clara HS, where he'll be attending next year. He's doing great. They all are for that matter.
Gotta sign off for now. Hope you are all healthy, happy and loved! See ya next time, and thanks for checking in!
Di
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Anniversaries and other things that are lost
Today is my sister and brother-in-law's 36th wedding anniversary. They're planning a nice dinner date to celebrate. Dave and I were married 35 years ago last March 13, but there was no nice dinner date to celebrate. Hell, he didn't even know what day of the week it was, let alone our anniversary.
This is the part of Alzheimer's that I HATE, HATE, HATE! No more anniversary dinners, no more birthday celebrations, no more life. There are certain things that Dave used to do for me that I have gotten used to doing myself. Things like pumping gas, picking up the dog poop, doing the dishes after I cooked the meal, you know, just stuff. But the LIFE experiences like birthdays and anniversaries, they are just too painful to loose. Bust lost they are. I can't dwell on it or I would go insane, but I do think about it.
I have gone from being Daves' wife and partner, to being his mom. "What day is today" "what time is it" "who's that lady sitting on the porch". These are questions I get 100 times every day. And did I tell you how demanding he has become? All of you know Dave, and most have known him a long time. Is demanding a word you would ever use to describe him? Well, I guess it's not him, and that's the reason I cry everyday. I miss him so much! I don't know the person that lives in the house whom I call Dave. He doesn't exist. Sigh......
Well, tomorrow's another day (crap)! Hope everyone has a great day!
~Di
This is the part of Alzheimer's that I HATE, HATE, HATE! No more anniversary dinners, no more birthday celebrations, no more life. There are certain things that Dave used to do for me that I have gotten used to doing myself. Things like pumping gas, picking up the dog poop, doing the dishes after I cooked the meal, you know, just stuff. But the LIFE experiences like birthdays and anniversaries, they are just too painful to loose. Bust lost they are. I can't dwell on it or I would go insane, but I do think about it.
I have gone from being Daves' wife and partner, to being his mom. "What day is today" "what time is it" "who's that lady sitting on the porch". These are questions I get 100 times every day. And did I tell you how demanding he has become? All of you know Dave, and most have known him a long time. Is demanding a word you would ever use to describe him? Well, I guess it's not him, and that's the reason I cry everyday. I miss him so much! I don't know the person that lives in the house whom I call Dave. He doesn't exist. Sigh......
Well, tomorrow's another day (crap)! Hope everyone has a great day!
~Di
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Challenging week, for sure!
Hi all! Hope you've all had a better week than we did.
Dave is experiencing some significant anger issues, with some weird behaviors attached. Tuesday morning we decided we would go out and have some breakfast, a real treat for us. Dave decided to walk the dogs first (as he does every morning). He wasn't paying attention, and one of the dogs got away from him and attacked another dog. Luckily (really?) it happened by the house, and I heard it. Went running (yes I ran!) half a block, separated the dogs, and made sure there were no serious injuries. The lady walking her dog was distraught, but her dog didn't seem to be hurt. A little blood on his ear, but I couldn't find a bite wound. Dave just stood there, doing nothing. He was confused and wasn't sure what had happened. I don't think we've heard the last from this lady....
I've noticed with Dave, he has only 2 emotions. Happy and pissed off. I know he was upset by what had happened, but it manifested as anger. Jan and I decided to go ahead with our breakfast plan, thinking it would take his mind off of what had happened. We went to our favorite breakfast spot, and Dave spent the entire time spitting his food all over the table. Imaginary egg shells, coffee grounds in his food....whatever. Needless to say it wasn't the most pleasant of breakfasts. Oh well.
The rest of the week went pretty typical, some outbursts and the like, but uneventful. He did okay at Day Care. He had a heat treatment on his back, which has been bothering him, and Friday he had a parafin treatment on his hands, which he likes alot. We ran some errands yesterday, and plan to lay low today.
Hope you all have a week filled with health, love and hapiness!
Dave is experiencing some significant anger issues, with some weird behaviors attached. Tuesday morning we decided we would go out and have some breakfast, a real treat for us. Dave decided to walk the dogs first (as he does every morning). He wasn't paying attention, and one of the dogs got away from him and attacked another dog. Luckily (really?) it happened by the house, and I heard it. Went running (yes I ran!) half a block, separated the dogs, and made sure there were no serious injuries. The lady walking her dog was distraught, but her dog didn't seem to be hurt. A little blood on his ear, but I couldn't find a bite wound. Dave just stood there, doing nothing. He was confused and wasn't sure what had happened. I don't think we've heard the last from this lady....
I've noticed with Dave, he has only 2 emotions. Happy and pissed off. I know he was upset by what had happened, but it manifested as anger. Jan and I decided to go ahead with our breakfast plan, thinking it would take his mind off of what had happened. We went to our favorite breakfast spot, and Dave spent the entire time spitting his food all over the table. Imaginary egg shells, coffee grounds in his food....whatever. Needless to say it wasn't the most pleasant of breakfasts. Oh well.
The rest of the week went pretty typical, some outbursts and the like, but uneventful. He did okay at Day Care. He had a heat treatment on his back, which has been bothering him, and Friday he had a parafin treatment on his hands, which he likes alot. We ran some errands yesterday, and plan to lay low today.
Hope you all have a week filled with health, love and hapiness!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Happy Sunday!
Not much happening this drizzly Sunday morning. I worked Friday & Saturday, so haven't spent too much time with Dave. He did okay at Day Care Friday, no negative reports (which means no new melt downs - yay)!
I was watching QVC this morning (my guilty pleasure) and they had this awesome electric smoker to sit on the patio. Dave sat down and this was our conversation:
Him - you should get that for your sister
Me - my sister???
Him - no, not your sister. (thinks for a minute) Who's that guy that likes to cook?
Me - that would be Matt
Him - who's Matt?
Me - our son
Him - oh
And so it goes.....
Hope everyone has a great week, filled with love, laughter & health!
Love, ~Di
I was watching QVC this morning (my guilty pleasure) and they had this awesome electric smoker to sit on the patio. Dave sat down and this was our conversation:
Him - you should get that for your sister
Me - my sister???
Him - no, not your sister. (thinks for a minute) Who's that guy that likes to cook?
Me - that would be Matt
Him - who's Matt?
Me - our son
Him - oh
And so it goes.....
Hope everyone has a great week, filled with love, laughter & health!
Love, ~Di
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I'm Back!
I didn't realize how long it's been since I blogged last. So much has happened in the last year and a half, most of it not so great.
After much soul searching and number crunching, I decided to let our home go into foreclosure. We were so upside down in the mortgage, even a loan modification wasn't much help. I didn't discuss this with Dave, he's way too far along in his AD to comprehend. I did manage to find a condo in the same community to rent. It's actually better, $600 cheaper than my mortgage, it's bigger, and has a den with a fireplace (boy did I miss a fireplace). And did I mention a second bathroom?
September 2010, my friend Jan moved from Phoenix into our 2nd bedroom. She's been a great help, and it's awesome to have someone to talk to. She was blown away by the progression of Dave's AD in just the few months that she last saw him.
In November 2010 I received another blow. I was laid off from my job. 3 dedicated years, but it was based on a struggling business. Now we're living on Dave's SS and un-employment. This is NOT how I pictured my life to be at this point, but God has a plan, they tell me. Not sure what it is, but I'll run on faith for awhile.
In March of this year, I started working with the VA to place Dave in Adult Day Care. It was a fantastic process, with lots of jumping through hoops, mountains of paperwork, endless meetings with Social Workers, etc. Well, they accepted him based upon his level of Alzheimer's, and the toll it's taking on me being a 24/7 caregiver. They approved him for 5 days a week (at $115.00 per day), and the VA is picking up the entire tab. Guess the hoop jumping was worth it. Believe me when I tell you, this was a very difficult decision to make, and I didn't make it lightly. The bus picks him up at the door on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 8:45 and drops him back at the door at 2:15. We're starting him 3 days a week, and we'll see how that goes. He's doing okay with it, bless his heart. He's had a couple of "melt downs" there, but they are medically equiped to handle them. They monitor his blood pressure, he takes a message once a week, takes a parafin treatment on his hands every other week. Hey, how can I get in on this?
As you can tell, his AD has progressed quite a bit. His heart issues continue to mount as well. His heart still beats in a-fib, the aneurysm is stable (only grown a bit), and after a stress test last month, he has artery blockage. They're not sure how many arteries are blocked because I've declined the proposed angiogram. Since we, as a family, made the decision early on that there will be no surgeries, this test seems moot. He is on the Warfarin regime, as well as lots of other good meds, and we will just monitor him at this oint.
Lots has happened on the family front since I last blogged as well. After years and years of dealing with Steve and Debbie's bull shit, we've severed ties. It was a mutual decision, since Steve still blames me for every bad choice he makes in his life. It started when he burned their house to the ground while coming down from a 3day meth binge, and ended when he walked out of my house one morning after helping himself to $875 that I was keeping for Matt and Heather's house fund. THE END. We still see the grandkids occasionally, and that's their choice, thankfully. They're disgusted by Steve's beahvior as well, but they can't sever ties, unfortunately.
Matt and Heather are doing great. The just moved into their mountain top home 2 months ago, after living apart for several years. They're living in a guest house (2bedroom, 2 baths, 1200 sq ft) on a large piece of property way up on a hill in Camarillo. To get there, you climb for quite a ways, the road ends and you enter through a gate to a private road, and the property sits at the end of the private road behind a secured gate. The views are breath-taking, the house is brand new and gorgeous, and they are so happy. Chris & Dylan will start in September at Camarillo Heights elementary, and they are looking fofrward to it.
Well enough for now. Hope this finds you all well, loved and healthy!
~Di
After much soul searching and number crunching, I decided to let our home go into foreclosure. We were so upside down in the mortgage, even a loan modification wasn't much help. I didn't discuss this with Dave, he's way too far along in his AD to comprehend. I did manage to find a condo in the same community to rent. It's actually better, $600 cheaper than my mortgage, it's bigger, and has a den with a fireplace (boy did I miss a fireplace). And did I mention a second bathroom?
September 2010, my friend Jan moved from Phoenix into our 2nd bedroom. She's been a great help, and it's awesome to have someone to talk to. She was blown away by the progression of Dave's AD in just the few months that she last saw him.
In November 2010 I received another blow. I was laid off from my job. 3 dedicated years, but it was based on a struggling business. Now we're living on Dave's SS and un-employment. This is NOT how I pictured my life to be at this point, but God has a plan, they tell me. Not sure what it is, but I'll run on faith for awhile.
In March of this year, I started working with the VA to place Dave in Adult Day Care. It was a fantastic process, with lots of jumping through hoops, mountains of paperwork, endless meetings with Social Workers, etc. Well, they accepted him based upon his level of Alzheimer's, and the toll it's taking on me being a 24/7 caregiver. They approved him for 5 days a week (at $115.00 per day), and the VA is picking up the entire tab. Guess the hoop jumping was worth it. Believe me when I tell you, this was a very difficult decision to make, and I didn't make it lightly. The bus picks him up at the door on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 8:45 and drops him back at the door at 2:15. We're starting him 3 days a week, and we'll see how that goes. He's doing okay with it, bless his heart. He's had a couple of "melt downs" there, but they are medically equiped to handle them. They monitor his blood pressure, he takes a message once a week, takes a parafin treatment on his hands every other week. Hey, how can I get in on this?
As you can tell, his AD has progressed quite a bit. His heart issues continue to mount as well. His heart still beats in a-fib, the aneurysm is stable (only grown a bit), and after a stress test last month, he has artery blockage. They're not sure how many arteries are blocked because I've declined the proposed angiogram. Since we, as a family, made the decision early on that there will be no surgeries, this test seems moot. He is on the Warfarin regime, as well as lots of other good meds, and we will just monitor him at this oint.
Lots has happened on the family front since I last blogged as well. After years and years of dealing with Steve and Debbie's bull shit, we've severed ties. It was a mutual decision, since Steve still blames me for every bad choice he makes in his life. It started when he burned their house to the ground while coming down from a 3day meth binge, and ended when he walked out of my house one morning after helping himself to $875 that I was keeping for Matt and Heather's house fund. THE END. We still see the grandkids occasionally, and that's their choice, thankfully. They're disgusted by Steve's beahvior as well, but they can't sever ties, unfortunately.
Matt and Heather are doing great. The just moved into their mountain top home 2 months ago, after living apart for several years. They're living in a guest house (2bedroom, 2 baths, 1200 sq ft) on a large piece of property way up on a hill in Camarillo. To get there, you climb for quite a ways, the road ends and you enter through a gate to a private road, and the property sits at the end of the private road behind a secured gate. The views are breath-taking, the house is brand new and gorgeous, and they are so happy. Chris & Dylan will start in September at Camarillo Heights elementary, and they are looking fofrward to it.
Well enough for now. Hope this finds you all well, loved and healthy!
~Di
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Grief
My dear, dear friend Joe lost his beloved wife Mary Ann in the wee hours this morning. Her Alzheimer's journey is over, and I'm left with the inevitable slap in the face that that Dave will travel the same painful road as Mary Ann. Damn it!! I hate this fucking disease. :((
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Saturday night fun
Well, my company Christmas party is tonight. When I left for work this morning, Dave was really looking forward to it. I'm a little stressed by it because I'm like a protective mama bear where he's concerned. Not everyone I work with knows that he has Alzheimer's, and a few of the ones that do are a little freaked out by it. Oh well, it will be what it will be, and we're planning on having fun!
We had our 6 month check up with Dr. Strahman on Thursday. We love Dr. Matt (as he calls himself). Dave still has Alzheimer's, (duh!)and has not progressed much since the last visit, but Dr. Matt did say that he's progressed quite a bit from our first visit 18 months ago. I told him about the anger issues, and he's reluctant to prescribe Seroquel at this point. That's fine with me, I think he's over medicated anyway. He advised if it gets out of control to call him, and I will.
Dr. Cingolani (cardiologist) wants to start Dave on coumadin, which is a blood thinner. The problem is, he has to go to the coumadin clinic once a week for 2-3 months so they can watch and adjust the dosage till they get it exactly right. The thought of having to drive to LA every Monday for 2-3 months is not appealing to me in the least. I was talking to Dr. Matt about it, and he agrees with Dr. Cingolani that he needs to be on coumadin because of the A-Fib and aneurysm. He did a little detective work and discovered that our shiny new VA clinic in Oxnard can do the weekly testing, and it's only 5 minutes away. Now that's do-able! See why I love Dr. Matt? :)
Well, not much else going on, it wasn't a terrible week, thank God! That's it from me, I wish you all love, happiness and health! See ya next time in the blogosphere! Love ya!
We had our 6 month check up with Dr. Strahman on Thursday. We love Dr. Matt (as he calls himself). Dave still has Alzheimer's, (duh!)and has not progressed much since the last visit, but Dr. Matt did say that he's progressed quite a bit from our first visit 18 months ago. I told him about the anger issues, and he's reluctant to prescribe Seroquel at this point. That's fine with me, I think he's over medicated anyway. He advised if it gets out of control to call him, and I will.
Dr. Cingolani (cardiologist) wants to start Dave on coumadin, which is a blood thinner. The problem is, he has to go to the coumadin clinic once a week for 2-3 months so they can watch and adjust the dosage till they get it exactly right. The thought of having to drive to LA every Monday for 2-3 months is not appealing to me in the least. I was talking to Dr. Matt about it, and he agrees with Dr. Cingolani that he needs to be on coumadin because of the A-Fib and aneurysm. He did a little detective work and discovered that our shiny new VA clinic in Oxnard can do the weekly testing, and it's only 5 minutes away. Now that's do-able! See why I love Dr. Matt? :)
Well, not much else going on, it wasn't a terrible week, thank God! That's it from me, I wish you all love, happiness and health! See ya next time in the blogosphere! Love ya!
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