Progressing....

Hi everyone! I hope this finds you all well. Things are sailing along at the Vails. Tomorrow (Sunday) we are celebrating our 3 birthdays with another family bbq. We've actually been having these bbq's every Sunday, all the kids and grandkids, for several weeks. It's becoming increasingly important to me to have the family around as much as possible. Although it tends to be a little hard on Dave with so many people there, he needs them. He usually sleeps through most of the afternoon, and I wake him up before dinner.

His memory is getting really frightful. He's been mixing the grandkids names up for several months, but now he can't come up with Steve or Matt's name, either. Everytime this happens, I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. It's just a blatant reminder of what this disease is doing to him. I HATE IT!!!!! I'm not sure how much longer he's going to know who I am. He knows that I'm his wife, but I'm not sure he could get my name every time.

Anyway, the importance of having the family around is as much for them as it is for Dave. 2 Sundays ago, after the first of the now standard Sunday family dinners, Steve's wife Debbie called me when they got home. She was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said "I had no idea how far Dave's Alzheimer's had progressed. It breaks my heart". When you only spend 5 or 10 minutes with him, how could you know? Then she asked "what are we going to do"? and I told her that honestly, I just don't know. We discussed her coming over during the week and spending time and making lunch for him, and she's more than willing to do that. As far as long term...I really don't know.

After his diagnosis, but before the Alzheimers really took over, we talked about what Dave wants for himself, and his wishes are very clear with me. I will do my best to honor them, but it will be difficult. That, however, is mine to keep, and I'm not comfortable sharing our conversations about the subject at this time. Thanks for understanding. I'm checking into Adult Day Care Centers, and am finding they are quite expensive. (averaging about $50 a day) Obviously I can't afford to send him every day, but I might be able to swing 1 or 2 days a week, I'm not sure.

I'm reading a book by Nancy Davis called "The Long Goodbye". If you've not heard of it, it's her and her mom's memories of what it was like living with Ronald Reagan after he was diagnosed with Alzheimers, and how they processed their pain and grief. Of course she glosses over much of the details, because who wants to read about changing the President of the United States diapers, right? Nancy Reagan coined the term 'the long goodbye' because that's what all of us with an Alzheimers loved one, do. When we got the Alzheimers diagnosis, we knew what the eventuality of the disease is. It's a terminal disease with no cure. Pretty cut and dried. The difference between Alz and cancer is, the doctors can pretty much gage your life expectancy with cancer. There's absolutely no way to do that with Alzheimers. Dave can languish in a near coma for years, as Ronald Reagan did. And there's the heart break.

On a happier note, all the grandkids are safely back in school for the 2009/2010 session. Dom of course started high school at St. Bonnie's (go Seraphs!), Rhiannon is in 6th grade and Joey is in 3rd, both at St. Anthony's, and Chris is in 1st and Dylan started kindergarten, both at Somis elementary. Believe it or not, they were all looking forward to going back to school. I guess it was a long, boring summer.

Well that's my story from the blogosphere, and I'm sticking to it. I wish you all continued health, happiness and much love! Thanks for stopping by, post a comment if you like! Love you all!

On getting old......

Came across this and thought it was hilarious! It's George Carlin. Enjoy!!!

Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.